Digital Boundaries

Hi there, I’m Kate. I'm one of the humans behind the content strategy and social media here at Boketto.

I work as a freelance writer, poet, witch, strategist, and coach, spending my days encouraging folks to show up to the digital with their stories, their voice, their poetry, and their passion.

I’m passionate about helping people show up online to embody their full purpose. I’m also passionate about the ways in which we can impact the internet, and the internet can impact us. 

Social media is a tool, a form of connection, a way to build worlds and webs of people in mutual support and creation. The internet also needs boundaries. 

I have internet spells (shout out to Bett Williams for some inspiration here). I spray lavender at my desk. I light a black candle. I keep evil eyes near my laptop. I work with a tuning fork. I have an altar built just behind my desk.

And this is just to say; I believe that we can be both. We can be advocates for social media while also loving and honoring some digital boundaries.

If someone’s IG Bio says, “No DMs,” you can bet I’m not DMing them. If they do and take 24-48 hours to respond to a DM, that’s okay— I wouldn’t want to be expected to reply any more quickly. It’s wild to me that people believe that they can have 24-hour access to someone’s energy, business, and humanity just because this web exists

When I say Digital Boundaries, what do I mean?

I mean, what’s your relationship with the digital space. Where do you start and stop and where does the Internet begin?

Once we are aware of our relationship, and it is just that, a relationship, how can we intentionally cultivate our partnership with the Internet? How can we build boundaries that protect your energy that allow you to thrive?

Having boundaries doesn’t mean that there isn’t compromise, or that there isn’t hard work. But it’s a way to track and protect your energy so that the Internet doesn’t take away your joy.

This relationship impacts our overall health. And that’s why I think it’s important to speak about. 

If you’re like me and looking to refine (or establish more) your relationship with technology… Here are some of my favorite tips around creating digital boundaries.

Know Your Boundaries 

It’s difficult to practically enforce your boundaries if you don’t know what they are. Do a little journaling around this. At the beginning of the pandemic, I had people trying to book time with me from 8am est. to 8pm est. across all time zones. At first, I was accepting these meetings in order to be accommodating.

Turns out, I was only burning myself out and then I was helpful to no one. At first, it was difficult. I had to write my rules by my desk and tape them on my wall. Every time I wanted to break one of my rules, I asked myself if I was being a very good boss to myself. And then I acted accordingly. The beautiful thing about this is that they are tailor made to you. What feels good to you in the digital realm?

Clearly Communicate Your Boundaries

If you don’t want people sending you DMs, add it to your bio or to your Highlights.

If your art isn’t available for reposting, state that clearly and confidently to your highlights. Build a Calendly that shows people when you’re available for meetings. Talk to your clients and your coworkers about your availability. When you’re clear, you’re kind. Leaving the boundaries murky will only disappoint you and those you’re connected with. 

Seek Support

There are many tools that can help you through this.

Whether you’re enforcing your screen time, turning notifications off, or asking your partner to help hold you accountable to your no Sunday social media, your friends want to see you be technologically well. Ask for help if you need it, or do a little research around apps that can help you track your energy and time.

P.S. Knowing your boundaries is a gift. It’s a gift to yourself and a gift to those around you. In a world where grinding, deadlines, and exhaustion are paramount to our own well-being, making a stance to slow down, act intentionally, and to examine your own perspective is truly an act of magic.